Everyone seems to be talking about Caitlyn Jenner. The internet and TV talk shows are plastering her Vanity Fair photo on all their feeds.

All I can think of is the Amanda Marshall song; Everybody’s Got a Story That Will Break Your Heart.

How come Caitlyn Jenner has become the poster child for transgendered people?

Haven’t we seen this before? It’s not new? Chaz Bono, Alexis Arquette, Janet Mock. Bruce Jenner did not invent this. But he certainly has the ways and means to promote his journey.

And how much trouble am I going to be in for not joining in and applauding the effort?

How tough was it to get Vanity Fair to hire Annie Leibowitz to take the photo while you were surrounded by the best people for wardrobe and make-up. Really, how tough was that? It’s not like you were going to lose your job, friends or family. You would still have millions of dollars if the picture failed. It was not a brave move.

Bruce and Caitlyn were always going to survive.

I would have been impressed if Caitlyn funneled some of her millions of dollars to start a foundation to help transgender people live without fear. I would have been shocked if Caitlyn had persuaded her stupidly rich family members to join the crusade.

Somewhere there is a lost soul who has a factory job surrounded by a bunch of guys. Maybe the greatest fear is to go to a drugstore and buy an eyelash curler and mascara, sit alone in a basement suite and dress up your face. And maybe a deeper burden is that you remove all the makeup before your friends see a smudge and guess your secret. Deep down inside you know you would lose everything if anyone saw the real you.

Everybody has a story that would break your heart, and most will never appear on the cover of Vanity Fair.

It’s a classic scenario. I was out on a stroll with my boyfriend and after a few minutes of silence I asked him what he was thinking about, he said, “Nothing.”

How can that be?

Isn’t the mind always busy? Isn’t there always something going on up there? Even if it’s thoughts about the mundane. I don’t believe there is nothing.

Needless to say we didn’t date for long.

These days I am constantly looking at people and wondering what they are thinking about. What is their running commentary? Are the thoughts happy? Are they sad? Is it pondering the past or hope for the future?

I don’t know why I want to know, but I do. Especially the people I see out on their own. What the hell are they thinking about?

This has become my little obsession.

In a world where we have become so connected and crowded the only place that is truly our own is inside our heads. It’s the place where you can love and hate and fantasize and believe every possibility. We can stream our own private movies.

I know my mind is always full. And no one gets complete access.

Odd that these days my mind is often filled with questions about others. Can I look into a face and get a hint of what lives inside. I don’t think so, but I keep trying. And on rare occasions I’ll ask what they’re thinking about. The answer is usually, “Nothing.”

I don’t believe that.

So, what are you thinking about?

And please don’t tell me it’s, “What, Tricia had a boyfriend???”

Move on.

I’m sure you have better things to think about than that.

I feel so guilty. Hell, I am guilty so at least I own it.

I’m in Vancouver in the lap of comparable luxury. I even went for a stroll along our beautiful waterfront this morning. Gazing across at the city that looks so calm and serene and lucky.

There’s time to go for a walk.

And even though my life is filled with stresses and concerns, I live here and not in Nepal.

We humans sometimes look the other way so we don’t have to feel guilty.

See this? The royal baby has a good name.

Oh look! An internet app that will guess your age.

NewsFlash: It’s Star Wars Day and there is going to be a new movie.

Guess what… I stopped and looked at each of these and probably spent too much time chatting about the nuances of Yoda.

Luckily I also looked at each picture from Nepal that showed up on my Facebook page. I read each post sent out by the many I am connected with back in Kathmandu. I drove to the local Tibetan Buddhist Monastery and gave some cash.

Many did much more.

The monks join in with the work that needs to be done.

Lama Pema (the head of that same Monastery) was on one of the first flights that left Vancouver after the earthquake and a couple days later showed up in his old village to offer support. They lost everything and he was able to give them hope. They have not been forgotten.

Lama Pema offering his support.

Today my internet feed is full of pictures of the monks helping where everything has been lost. Kathmandu will survive, but the concern is for the small villages that crumbled.

The devastation of Lama Pema’s old village.

I only sit and watch. And feel guilty.

An hour ago the TV screens in BC all went red and a test broadcast was run. We may not be fully prepared but I’m sure we will be better off here if that inevitable disaster hits. For many the focus will be drawn away from Nepal and the navel gazing about our own preparedness will resume.

The world will move on but part of me will stay with those villagers and monks and nuns.

My emergency kit now includes what I need to do today to help those far away.

The young nuns pray “hard” for the survivors.

Maybe my tolerance for stupid is running amuck.

Three times a week I drive along Alberni Street between Burrard and Thurlow. It’s in the middle of a busy area of downtown Vancouver surrounded by hotels, condos, upscale restaurants and shops. And clearly a mecca for stupid people.

It’s difficult to drive down the street because of all the jaywalkers. There is no other block where so many feel the need to just stroll out among the cars. There are traffic signals just a few steps away, but it seems no one feels the need to walk to the corner and cross legally. No, let’s just step in front of traffic.

Today I pulled my car over and watched for three whole minutes. During that time fourteen people jaywalked. Fourteen! And the drivers weaved their way through the maze.

I don’t really care that people do this but I know if one jaywalker gets hit by a car it will somehow turn into the driver’s fault.

Stupid.

And then the ducks.

Was there really a need for the group of media reporters and cameras when they released the ducks that got caught up in the oil spill? Really? A few ducks got slimed and in less than a week they were fine and set free. That is what the media is reporting on these days?

I wonder how many ducks were eaten in Vancouver restaurants in that same week. I bet more than four. Where is our sense of what constitutes an over the top reaction and what is a contradiction in what we think is right and wrong.

If a ship spills oil and there is no immediate response and some ducks spend days getting washed in Dawn dishwashing soap we should all be outraged. But if a guy is hungry and decides that the Pan-Seared Duck Foie-Gras looks tasty on a menu then that’s OK.

Now if a duck was jaywalking along Alberni Street, then fell into some oil that had dripped out of a car, then got hit by a cyclist that wasn’t in a bike lane…

That would be a headline story.

It would also be stupid and even the duck would agree.

I bet most ducks think we humans are ridiculous.

Note to self: If you don’t like something… change it.

It might take some work and sometimes you won’t succeed, but one person can make a difference.

As I write this I laugh because I hate change. I never opt for something different and the thought makes me sick.

I hang on to the known. I love traditions.

Over the last few weeks I have had to deal with too many changes. Even if the change is an improvement I know it will take me a long time to accept the “new”.

Example one: My new car. If you had ever seen my old car it would be hard to accept I miss it and question this new beast. Heated seats, who cares? The new car smell, who cares? Sun roof, who cares? Yes, in the end I will love all of this, but I still miss the old Honda. Change is tough when precious memories are involved.

Example two: Jon Stewart is leaving the Daily Show! How can this be acceptable to anyone? It was tough enough to get through his hiatus last year but now he’ll be gone forever. Wrong wrong wrong. And as for my dream of having Jon interview me about my book, how will that ever happen now?

Example three: I’ve just deleted what I’ve written. I’m starting to sound too anal.

Back to the main topic of changing something you don’t like.

I found it frustrating that Tartan Day was never celebrated in Vancouver. Sadly I seemed to be the only person that cared. What could I do? How could I change this unacceptable situation?

Easy.

Start talking. Starting asking. Start leading the parade.

After many meetings the Scottish community backed my plan. Luckily my friend and “important Scottish person”, Rob MacNeil, jumped on the band wagon to help.

Did you know that if the idea has merit you can get the City of Vancouver to declare an official proclamation for you? It was a thrill to hear the words I had written about a day I was passionate about being read out on the steps of City Hall. It was even better to hear the gathered crowd applaud.

The premise that one person can make a difference is in everyone’s grasp.

Even if you are a person that hates change.