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George Clooney and Buying a Home

13 April, 2016/0 Comments/in Blog, Happy /by Tricia

Years ago I realized my dream wasn’t going to come true and I wasn’t marrying George Clooney. Being George’s wife would have made me happy but he married someone else. I was left to find other ways to be content.

I survived… and oddly enough, I’m happy.

When I hear a local news report about how Vancouver real estate prices have become too high for most people I scream at the radio… “And I’m not Mrs. Clooney!”

Suck it up people… sometimes dreams don’t come true. Just because you want something doesn’t mean it will happen. Vancouver doesn’t owe you.

And guess what, owning a home doesn’t guarantee you will be happy.

I know lots of people that own homes and are stuck in a job they hate because they need the money to pay their mortgage. Or they’re trapped in a relationship and can’t leave because they would have to downgrade their lifestyle.

No, owning a home does not equal happy. It might, but it might not. And are you prepared for that? Sink all your money into this one dream only to find out it isn’t the golden ticket.

Get over it.

I got over the George thing.

But I also got over the home ownership thing.

I left a high-paying stressful job for a career that I love. It doesn’t make me enough money to buy a home. I gave up trying to make relationships work and opted to live contently alone. A single income is not great when applying for a mortgage.

And that’s OK… I’m happy. Very happy.

Part of my happiness is because I live in the best place on earth. Vancouver.

I was born here, lived a few other places and then came home.

A day in Vancouver is better than almost anywhere else.

You can complain all you want about the high cost of living and the fact that you can’t buy a home. And I really hope they find a way to solve some of these issues. But this isn’t “breaking news”. And even a minor fix to the problem won’t help the “poor” people.

It would be nice if we all got what we wanted… but that’s not going to happen.

I’m never going to marry George Clooney.

And yet I’m still happy.

Tartan Day Penguins

7 April, 2016/0 Comments/in Blog /by Tricia

It was going to happen sooner or later. I can blame it all on Tartan Day but that would be a lie. For the second time in 153 weeks I didn’t post a blog on Wednesday. The last time this happened I was in the hospital.

This time I was so exhausted even a penguin couldn’t help me.

Yesterday, April 6^th, was Tartan Day. For the last seven years I’ve been putting on some sort of event to mark the day. This year was no different except that this year may be my last.

I’m not an “events” person. People think I am, but they’re wrong.

Yesterday I joined up with Rob MacNeil and Nic Brand. I love these guys! Nic is the founder of Men In Kilts and let us use his tartan firetruck to drive around downtown Vancouver. Rob is the Cultural Committee Chair of the Scottish Cultural Centre and got us two pipers and a dancer to provide the entertainment. We made stops at many iconic Vancouver places, put on a mini show and in-between, drove around the main streets of downtown with the bagpipes going strong!!!

Lots of fun but very crazy and a little hard to organize.

It’s “gorilla-style” with the premise that you do something and ask for permission later.

A tad bit stressful for the person in charge.

Before we headed out I wanted to address the issue that I might lose my cool while we were on the road. (And when I say lose my cool I mean I could go insane and yell at everyone.)

So I gave this little speech to Rob, Nic, Roger Lye, Aiden Fowler, Alexandra Lye and the parents.

“We’re going out to have as much fun as we can, but I know that if I get stressed about something I can go a little crazy, get mad and totally crap out. It’s very ugly! So… if you see me start to get a bad face and get mean… I want you to immediately say a special word to me. And that word is PENGUIN! Then all I’ll think about are my favourite animals and the way they are so cute and how they walk funny and I will stop being mad. OK?”

I even tossed in my imitation of a penguin walking.

Everyone laughed.

The speech wasn’t for their benefit, it was for mine. It was a safety net in case the event went bad. In case I went bad.

But the day went well and no one said “penguin!” The crowds smiled, took pictures, waved and realized it was indeed Tartan Day.

We only had trouble with two security people. Even those encounters ended well.

I got home after the fifteen hour day and wrote my blog. Then I accidentally deleted it. An exhausted, stupid move. I wrote another one and it was shit. I wrote a third one and can you believe this; my computer crashed and I lost it all.

I wanted to cry and scream and say I will never blog again.

Instead I said the magic word and went to bed.

Penguin.

Buddhist Easter Eggs

30 March, 2016/2 Comments/in Tibetan Buddhism /by Tricia

Easter is very different than Christmas. It’s easy to be a Tibetan Buddhist at Christmas.

Easter… not so much.

Or maybe it’s just the Christians I spend my time with. For the last week they’ve been wailing at how we’ve forgotten what Easter is all about.

Maybe they haven’t been watching the TV coverage because I’ve seen lots of reports from the Vatican and too many people carrying around huge crosses.

So we’ve not forgotten the big resurrection thing… it’s just that many of us don’t care. And we’re too busy eating Cadbury Eggs.

Much in the way you don’t really care about parts of my religion.

And that’s OK.

I accept I’m part of a minority group. The latest polls put Tibetan Buddhists at less than one percent in Canada.

And that’s OK.

This is not a popularity contest. And even though majority usually rules the day, we’re lucky to be in a country where we get the right to pray however we want.

We also get to celebrate the holiday however we want.

I realize Christians started this entire Easter thing and as majority rules we’re going to celebrate the time with holidays, family meals and lots of people going to church.

And that’s OK.

I’ll even wish you well. It’s what we Tibetan Buddhists do. We try to be kind.

So please don’t rant at me.

And don’t tell me not to do the “Easter Egg” thing.

These are the eggs I took to the dinner I attended on Sunday. Each was filled with a huge hunk of blue cheese. The hostess loved them! Yes, she’s a big fan of blue cheese.

Agreed, it had nothing to do with all that was going down at the Vatican. But it was a wonderful meal with dear friends. Lots of yummy food. Too much blue cheese. And a Cadbury Egg for dessert.

I felt blessed.

And that’s more than OK.

Tammy Moyer

23 March, 2016/0 Comments/in Uncategorized /by Tricia

She annoyed me at times… she was often a little too perky.

My clock radio would come on at 5am and there she was. Cheerful and happy and no matter what the weather or circumstance, she would find a bright angle to focus on.

She joked around and made a chatty conversation with everyone that joined her in the morning.

I’ll admit that there were days I hit the “off” button because I was too tired to jump into her positive world. I wanted to close my eyes and fall back. I didn’t want to be pulled into her happy place.

She was part of my every day and now she’s gone.

Tammy Moyer, the morning anchor at radio station News1130, died this past Friday.

When I found out I cried. And that surprised me.

What happened at the radio station in the following days also surprised me.

I’m not a big fan of those overblown public memorials where people bring little candles and teddy bears. It seems rather silly. Yes, people have to grieve, but is that the best way to do it?

There are better ways to let someone know how you feel.

Tammy’s friends and co-workers had to announce on the air what had happened.

And they did it with class and a nod to the professionals that they are.

Tanya Fletcher’s noticeable struggle to get through that first Monday morning broadcast. Jim Bennie’s voice cracking as he introduced the segment on Tammy and saying “Here it goes… I’ll try to get through this…” The few tasteful clips they played included a message from Tammy’s family. Many of her colleagues commented through Twitter. Ben Wilson’s tweets made me cry again.

Then guess what… the world continued on and big news stories had to be covered and reported on. These people put their grief aside and did their jobs.

Tammy would have been proud. And no doubt Tammy already knew how much they loved her.

My policy is to tell people how I feel about them before they die. If I have a favourite singer, store clerk, writer or even politician, I write them a letter or card to let them know how I feel while they are alive.

I never wrote to Tammy. What would I have said?

“I think you are just too happy at 5am.”

Meditation and Murder

16 March, 2016/2 Comments/in Tibetan Buddhism /by Tricia

Our minds are forever leaping around. Jumping from one thought to another. I was reminded of this when I reintroduced some serious meditation back into my daily routine.

The return was not planned but when I decluttered my apartment I realized I had room for a perfect meditation space. A little corner that reminded me of the “boxes” we used up at the Tibetan Buddhist retreat on Salt Spring Island. Practitioners spent hours in these comfy setups. I could easily devote a little time to my spiritual side if I set up something similar.

It seems to have worked and I’m back to my daily practice.

I love the flowing recitation of Tibetan words.

I love the view.

Right now the bulk of my time on the cushion is doing the taking and sending meditation. It’s simple. You think of a person and breathe in any negative surrounding them and then breathe out something positive directed their way. It can be happiness, joy, health… whatever they may need.

This is a very common meditation.

My mind wandered as I settled in with my list of people this morning. I randomly started to think of some of the friends I saw this past weekend… my writing friends.

Then I laughed. Many are crime fiction writers. They spend hours thinking of murder and mayhem and here I was attempting to send them happy thoughts.

That’s when it hit me. As I visualized each one of them I realized these writers are some of the kindest people I’ve ever met. They are good and decent and generous.

I’ve written about them in past blogs… Owen Laukkanen, Sam Wiebe and even those non-crime types like Terry Fallis and kc dyer.

Now I’m not saying all writers are nice people… God knows that’s not true. But I am saying the ones I surround myself with these days get a gold star.

Go follow Owen on Twitter. His tweet yesterday announced the debut of his latest book and gave thanks for his many blessings. With Owen, what you see is what you get, a good man and a very talented writer.

Have people just gotten nicer? Happier? Kinder?

I don’t think so.

But last year I just made the decision to surround myself with better people.

So far so good.

This means my morning meditation is not just about breathing in negative and sending positive.

It’s the realization of just how blessed I am these days.

Even if many of my friends are thinking about clever ways to kill people.

Behind Closed Doors

9 March, 2016/3 Comments/in Blog /by Tricia

I love my apartment building. We are our own little neighbourhood.

It helps that we’re also in Kerrisdale, a perfect, throwback, mid-scale, little part of Vancouver.

You get to know your neighbours. People come and people go. Some, like me, have been here for years. We chat in the laundry room, parking lot and stairwells. At Christmas I invite most of the tenants to my open house.

Most of the tenants.

I will never invite the people that live right next door to me. And luckily, they never read my blog.

He looks like an upscale businessman. He’s not. She’s his mother. They’re always very polite when we pass in the hall. She speaks in a whisper.

A few times a month, behind their closed door, they scream at each other like two deranged banshees. Shrieks of accusations. Raging condemnations. It goes on for hours.

I can hear them from my bathroom.

So I know their little secret. They hate each other.

In this building we tend to look out for the people around us.

Jack lived on the second floor and was in a wheelchair. A friendly chap. Once when the fire alarm went off we all ended up in the lobby. It only took seconds for two men to turn and head back up the stairs to carry Jack down. It was a false alarm but from then on we put a system in place as to who would make sure Jack was OK in an emergency. I liked that we did that. It’s what your neighbours should do.

We also share books in the laundry room library.

Someone has hung “paintings” in the carport.

For a few weeks we had a lady living under the tree by the side of our building. It was well protected and she just “moved” in. Oddly enough we were all respectful of her space. When the weather turned, someone found her a better place to stay.

There’s a generous on-going dose of common courtesies.

People come and people go. Some people stay for years and years. Jack got sick and died.

We old-timers rate the newbie’s but we’re also quick to welcome them in.

Yelling neighbours, well they’ve taught me that you never really know what goes on in someone’s home when their door is closed… and locked.

We all have secrets. The way we act. What we think. Things that make us mad. Things that give us our greatest joy. And the people we choose to hate.

I swear I haven’t looked the mother or son straight in the eye since I heard the first yelling match.

I’m afraid they would know I know.

And how could I live with that?

Or worse… how could they.

A good personal trainer?

2 March, 2016/0 Comments/in Personal Training /by Tricia

What makes a good personal trainer?

Great question.

It’s what I was asked when I told a friend I wanted to hire a personal trainer for myself.

Life’s gotten crazy busy and showing up for weight training is easier if you’ve booked a specific time with someone. A ready-made incentive. It’s all about that commitment thing.

Years ago I hired a trainer and he was good. Really good. In fact he was so good he left Vancouver and got a job training Farah Fawcett. I do know he enjoyed training her more than me. Yes… hard to believe, but true.

The bottom line is a personal trainer has to be certified. That is a given. You need credentials.

What people might not know is there are different types of certifications from different governing bodies. I’m certified with the International Sports Sciences Association out of California. They fit the philosophy and style of training I wanted to pursue. So far, so good.

But no amount of certificates or credited courses or years in the business will make you a great trainer. Sure, it all helps, but I believe there is only one deciding factor.

A great personal trainer has to care about their client.

It took me years to embrace this concept but once I did my business started to really grow. I made the decision to only work with people I liked. That way it was easy to care about them. And when I cared about them I genuinely wanted them to be happier. I was much more motivated to help them reach their specific goals.

And trust me… everyone has different goals. You have to find out what they are.

When I take on a client I end up spending hours and hours with them. Life is just better when you are with people you like and appreciate.

And as much as you think you can fake caring about a client, in the end it doesn’t work. At least it hasn’t for me.

The guy who left me for Farrah Fawcett? I always got the feeling he enjoyed my company. Yes, I bitched when he had me do too many squats, but we laughed the whole time. When he told me he was leaving for LA he seemed sad to go. He said he would miss our sessions. I believed him.

And because I felt he cared, I did squats to make him proud.

Everyone ends up happy.

So will I get a great personal trainer to help me get into better shape?

Maybe the bigger question is…

How can you tell if someone really cares?

Maybe it’s the person that will be with you at the finish line?

Finding Fraser, finding kc

24 February, 2016/4 Comments/in Reading, SiWC /by Tricia

Why is it so surprising when someone is kind and generous?

Back in January 2015 I got an email from kc dyer asking for my help to find a man in a kilt for a photo shoot. Well of course I know many men with kilts, but the one I thought would be most appropriate was Robert MacDonald. He even makes kilts.

Jump forward to kc self-publishing a book with a cover picture of a man in a kilt. (As you can see, Rob wears a kilt very well!)

It’s called Finding Fraser and it’s a story about a young woman that reads the Outlander series and goes to Scotland to find her own Jamie.

I saw the book for the first time at the official launch party and was floored to see kc had thanked me for connecting her with Rob in the acknowledgments!

Finding Fraser went on to become an Amazon bestseller.

If this story ended here it would still make for great reading. You would know how gracious and kind kc is.

But I need a longer blog post so I’ll add a little more to this story. And then tell you the best part…

kc is just one of the amazing people I’ve met at the Surrey International Writers’ Conference and my life is much richer for it. I’ve attended the conference for the last five years. When kc is leading a workshop I’m usually in the front row. Her “Beginner Intensive” master class not only gives you all the information you need to start your writing career but kc also inspires you with her enthusiasm, candor and hilarious attitude.

Even more shocking… kc is surrounded by some pretty incredible people at the SiWC… Kathy Chung, Camille Netherton, Crystal Stanaghan, Eileen Cook, Jared Hunt, Jennifer Browne and Jennifer Striemer.

These people are the reason the Surrey International Writers’ Conference is famous for being so welcoming and generous. They make it happen.

And the reason I’m telling you this story today?

Yesterday kc announced that Finding Fraser will be published by Berkley (an imprint of Penguin Random House).

This is HUGE news! It’s rare for a self-published book to be picked up by a big publisher and kc and her agent, Laura Bradford made it happen.

I was thrilled to hear the great news as the tweets started bouncing around. Then I clicked on the link to find out the details.

And that’s when I started to cry.

kc has listed the names of the people that helped to make this happen. She included mine.

How can you not LOVE someone like that?

Procrastination & Inspiration

18 February, 2016/3 Comments/in Blog /by Tricia

Three weeks ago I sat in this room at the Long Beach Lodge and vowed that I would stop procrastinating.

By the end of February I would get my ass in gear and somehow build a new website.

Six days ago it seemed procrastination would win. I had done nothing.

Then I asked my friend, Jennifer Browne (writer/editor/blogger/social-media-manager) if her website builder extraordinaire, Christian Lind, could give me a hand.

Hours, and yes, I mean hours later this new website was built.

Procrastination got kicked in the butt.

I’ve been warned there’s tons to learn and lots of work to do.

Surrounded by these amazing people I’m motivated to carry on.

And with that, inspiration has taken center stage.

Happy New Year

10 February, 2016/1 Comment/in Photography, Tibetan Buddhism /by Tricia

My favourite pastime at Long Beach was the continuation of my “People Watching” photography that I talked about in my Reactions blog. The opportunities were endless and the backgrounds are stunning.

This week’s plan was to tell the story about how I was walking along Chesterman Beach and saw a woman at the shoreline screaming into a phone and pointing out to the crashing waves. Two men were running to some huge rocks at the end of the bay. I could hear them calling out a name. There was no sign of anyone out in the surf. This had all the signs of a disaster. I said a prayer and walked on.

Clearly it was too much of a heart wrenching event to witness let alone photograph.

In the end it was blog worthy. So yesterday I sat down to write the story.

Then my Twitter feed pissed me off.

Monday was the Lunar New Year and Tuesday was Losar, the Tibetan celebration of that New Year.

And last night, when I should have been writing the, “Oh my god, my kids went surfing and might be dead.” blog, I was again explaining to someone that it was inconsiderate to call February 8, 2016 the Chinese New Year.

I had pointed this out many times over the last 48 hours. Now it was beyond annoying and just plain rude. I admit my problem might stem from the Chinese/Tibet conflict. I am biased.

But still… there are other people in the world that celebrate the Lunar New Year.

Do we ever say Merry Catholic Christmas? Or Happy North American New Year? Never.

I applauded each person , company or organization that sent out “Lunar New Year” greetings and called it just that.

If you’re Chinese or are attending a Chinese event, then yes, by all means, get swept up in a Chinese New Year celebration!

But for me, I marked this day wishing people “Tashi Delek” at the Losar ceremony.

I also made the aspiration to take more “people watching” pictures throughout this Year of the Monkey.

Which brings me back to those kids out surfing.

Minutes later the rescue boat could be seen circling the water. I couldn’t help but watch. Then from around a huge boulder came the men climbing over the rocks back to shore with two other people. That’s when I started taking the pictures…

I was able to give the family a picture of the mother hugging her daughter.

I also gave them this shot of them all heading back along the beach…

As the Dad gave me his email address his voice started to waver. I looked up and said, “This was a good ending.” His eyes teared up and he just nodded.

It’s all about capturing the little moments.

Happy Lunar New Year…

George Clooney and Buying a Home

Tartan Day Penguins

Buddhist Easter Eggs

Tammy Moyer

Meditation and Murder

Behind Closed Doors

A good personal trainer?

Finding Fraser, finding kc

Procrastination & Inspiration

Happy New Year

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