A Writers’ Conference

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How can two accomplished, well-known writers critique the same story and give such different feedback?

One person loved it.  The other told me to change my style and start over again.

This simple fact became the dilemma for my weekend.

I wrote 364 words and they gave 2 opinions.

Which voice will be stronger?  The positive or negative?

Don’t get me wrong, I never expect everyone to enjoy my stories.  That would be silly.  But I’ve been lucky to share my work with readers that appreciate the intent of my thoughts.  Very lucky.

Or maybe most hate the stories and are too kind to say.  Ah, there is the old negative pattern trying to worm its way into my psyche.  This time I won’t let the bad review creep into my thoughts.  I will look the other way.

And let’s be honest.  I don’t think I can change. I write the way I write.  It is my voice. It is who I am.

Over the four days I met with agents, attended workshops, chatted with famous writers, drank with wannabes, learned about “dino-porn” and connected with as many people as I could.  I loved every second of the conference.

I even loved the bad review.  It taught me I won’t be devastated by a negative.

Well at least not this time.

 

Connections

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Tomorrow I head to the Surrey International Writers Conference to learn more about the fine art of writing and publishing a book.  The goal is to also make some valuable connections…  (of course I wrote a piece about that very topic)

Connections

Are we all connected?  I don’t know about this.

Sometimes there seems to be the six degrees of separation.  Sometimes it feels like we are all alone.

And what about the fine art of networking?  How does that fit in?

Isn’t it drummed into us that to get ahead these days you need to network? Mine those contacts. Milk each connection. Master the art of making it work. Speak up!

And where in all of this is our basic integrity?

That is the question I keep asking myself.

In a life that craves the magic of everything networking can achieve, how do I do it without seeming insincere and plotting?  How do you balance the need to utilize all the people you know to push your agenda to succeed?  Then there’s the Canadian tendency to be humble and unassuming.  And don’t ever forget I practice Tibetan Buddhism. We are meant to be quiet. We don’t push our agendas.

Where is the balance?

Even with all this contemplation I will continue to connect the dots.  I will always be amazed I get to know the people I know.  Even more shocking is to know the people they know.  It boggles the mind.

Networking…. yes, I do it… and I like to believe I do it well.

We are human, what are we if not people who talk to people?

And if this is true, why at times do we feel so all alone?

 

Stalk

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Here is another excerpt from my book “The Long Game”, a memoir told in one page short stories.

Stalk

I stalk my half-sister.  Facebook and Google have made this easy. She has no idea I exist.

Even better, her husband has no restrictions of what he puts up on his pages.  I’ve seen the whole family. I’ve looked at pictures of a nephew I share dna with.  I know his birthdate. My bother–in-law probably thinks he has nothing to hide.  Why would anyone ever stalk him?

I know my half-sister teaches Zumba. I’m not a big fan of Zumba. Funny, she is a little chubby.

As far as I can tell we look nothing alike.

I wonder how she will handle it when she finds out I exist.

One day I will admit I have been stalking her for years.

How could I not?

Only once has my sister put up a picture of her mother, yes, my birth-mother, on her Facebook page.  I think it was to celebrate Mother’s day. This is the only time I’ve seen my mother’s face.  It took my breathe away.

We look nothing alike. How sad.  How appropriate.

And do you want to know an embarrassing fact.  If my mother and her family looked rich and successful I might be tempted to contact them sooner rather than later.  I’m being completely honest here.  If it looked like there was some money involved I might not be able to hold back the temptation to milk that puppy.

But they look average.  From the holiday shots I can see they have an older car and trailer.  They go camping and take trips to the generic holiday places with good but basic sights to see.  Nothing exotic or fancy.

I wonder when the stalking will end.  I will not be surprised to read of my mother’s death on a Facebook update.  This is what it is to live in the world today.

Nothing really remains a secret.  My mother must live in fear each and every day.  Does she scan her daughter’s postings and pray family details aren’t released.

Will everyone be shocked when the truth comes out?

And yes, the truth will come out one day.

Not because I’m mean or vindictive or even curious.

The truth will come out because I’m sick and tired of being discounted.

 

Buddha and I agree…

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There is a famous quote attributed to Buddha “Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and common sense.”

I am finding the need to repeat this sentiment more and more these days. In doing this I have not always been kind.

The trend these days seems to be towards “trusting” and giving power to the people around us and not listening to our own gut. Even worst, giving power to people not remotely connected to us. There are plenty of “experts” out there with proclamations on what’s best, but do you have to take their every word as gospel?

When did we all start listening to the so-called experts and hey, wait a minute, how come there are so many experts? And why do they all seem to think they know the answer?  Even more infuriating they think they know what’s best for me!  Wait. Maybe I’m taking this a little too personally.

I will admit, few people are telling me what to do. (Who would dare?)

Many of my friends and clients ask my opinion on the advice they are given.  (And when I say advice I mean when they are told to do something) My caution is always the same… get a second opinion, do some research and most of all, trust yourself.  That last one is the key.  Listen to the voice inside your head.

I may have an over-inflated affection for the people around me.  I believe most of them are brilliant. They should inherently know what’s best for them. I have faith in their judgment.

We tend to go astray when we give away our power.  So stop doing that. Know thyself. Trust thyself.  Give yourself the benefit of the knowledge you’ll know what’s right and wrong.

Buddha also said, “Be kind”. So I’ll back away from the computer and stop my rant… for now.

 

My Great Friend

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My friend, the famous Andrew Mockler, moved out of my home today.

He’s stayed with me for the last ten weeks while he established himself back into Vancouver’s creative world.

It’s been ten weeks of intense work, hysterical improv sessions, gallons of Starbucks, private concerts, sushi, road trips, long chats, too many Dairy Queen Blizzards and so much more.

If you ever need a break from reality to put yourself in touch with where dreams are possible, open your home and heart to an “Andrew”. Then step back and watch magic happen.

“Andrew” stories feature heavily in my book and some of our adventures together make for compelling essays.

I can tell you our current undertakings have a follow up book brewing on the outer syntax of my mind.  With Andrew you can never guess what is just around the corner.

Trust me, if you want an interesting life, vow to take a leap with a friend like Andrew.  It might scare the crap out of you but you will also know what it is to truly live.

Life can get boring and predictable. Don’t let it. Move towards what might have the power to make you happy.

I’m sure you still have dreams. Follow them.

People come and go in your life. Even friends come and go in your life. Some will leave a huge mark; some will pass with only a whisper. All are valuable.

Some people may be the catalyst to change everything.

There is no end to the “Andrew Chronicles”… it is just the turning of the page with the anticipation of “What next?”