End Of Summer

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On August 30th I finished writing the first draft of my book, “The Long Game”, a memoir written in one page short stories. The following is one of the final pieces added into the mix…

End of Summer

Yes, you’re right, nothing new has happened.  So why does today hurt more than yesterday? Why at this particular time does the pain have the power to overtake me?

It just does.

Some days are worse.  Some hours are unbearable.  The loss of the children screams louder at certain times.  It hurts everything and comes in uncontrollable waves.  I did not expect the violence of these assaults to carry on. Will they ever stop?

I don’t search out thoughts or circumstances to rip open the wound. Give me some credit; even I’m not that cruel.

My life without the children has become the new norm.

It’s the milestones that remind me this is not normal.

And yes, I should have seen it coming.  This week marks another event I will miss.  The annual visit to the country fair.  A tradition the kids revered. The rollercoaster, cow milking, deep fried Mars Bars, the Super Dog show. Ian’s first taste of Perogies and the year we sat for two hours to watch a calf being born.  Jake having the thrill of seeing the RCMP Musical Ride and meeting Data from Star Trek.  And Ricky, well she loved it all, but her growing love of baby goats meant hours spent in the petting zoo. They all loved the pig races. Each day had to include those crazy pig races.

For four years I spent three days at the end of each summer with some of the best one-on-one bonding time with the kids.  One day each.  Yes, for me a repeat of many of the fair’s classics, but seeing it from each of the triplets eyes made the day unique.

This is how I welcomed them home from their summer at the cottage back east. How we reconnected and deepened our bond. There will be no reconnecting this year.

The fair is on and I’m not at the pig races.

So you’re right.  Nothing new has happened.  And that is what has re-broken my heart.  Today there should have been hours of new memories made with the kids.  Instead I have the task of pretending my heart isn’t being cracked wide open again.

 

The Extra Mile

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The keyboard on my phone was screwed. I didn’t know if the problem was it or me, so the simplest solution was to stop by the Rogers store. That’s where the young man who initially set up my phone works. He is brilliant and helpful. Luckily he was there and spent an hour helping me.  I came away with a newly installed keyboard and a huge savings on my monthly bill.  Have I mentioned I love this guy?

Well actually, I did mention I loved this guy.  And by the way, his name is Ally.

Back in February, when I first got this new phone, Ally was the sales rep I dealt with.  He was incredible. Everything a non-tech person like me wishes for when I have to dive into another realm of this fast paced, technology based society.

I wrote Rogers’ head office to tell them about my experience with Ally.  Besides a short call from the “President’s Office” to thank me for my letter, I never heard anything more from them.  As Ally fixed my keyboard problem he filled me in on what happened with the letter.  Apparently it went viral throughout the company.  Head office sent it out to some managers, they sent it out to staff, and it grew from there. Hundreds of people heard about this amazing man and how he helped me.

It was a good letter.  But more important, Ally is a good man and he got the recognition he deserved.  The whole scenario is serving him well.  He was blown away that I took the time to write. “Nobody does that anymore.”

Yesterday I watched a friend execute a perfect plan to thank someone for helping him. A surprise gift.  He wanted them to know how much he appreciated what they did and what they continued to do for him.  It’s a huge gesture and will probably be remembered forever.  As I say… a perfect plan.  And a perfect payback.  I was impressed and a little in awe.

That’s what we should be striving for.

Go the extra mile to let the people around us know they are cherished.  Don’t assume people “get it”… spell it out to them.

The ripple effects can be huge… and in ways you may never expect.

Don’t miss an opportunity… do yourself a favour, go make someone’s day.

 

The Ultimate Haircut

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Women and their hair.

I’ve just booked my next haircut and the dilemma of wondering if it’s time for a change always comes up… luckily for me I have done the ultimate with my hair so anything I do these days pales in comparison…

I wrote a story about it… this became the story that kicked off my “writing career”…

Bald

Today I am a forty year old bald woman.

Yesterday I had long black hair down to my shoulders.

Today I notice my ears are too big for my face.

Yesterday I looked like everyone else.

Today the wind on my bare scalp chills me to the bone.

Yesterday I still had all my hair to hide behind.

Today people stare at me.

Yesterday I walked into my hairdressers and had my head shaved.

The first step was to cut the bulk of my long hair with scissors.  I was spellbound sitting there watching my reflection as my cherished locks fell away.  The next step came as he used the electric razor for a close crop.  You could now see the shape of my head.  Thank God I had no strange lumps and bumps.  That would have been too much!  Then finally the razor blade to finish the job. There were no tears, just the reflection of a forty year old bald woman looking back at me.

Today I visited my bald client with breast cancer.  She is bald from the chemo and was excited about my gesture to shave my own head to support her journey.  Today she quietly tells me she can’t stand to look at me because it reminds her how sick she is.  She doesn’t want to look at the face of another bald woman.  I am banished.  She tells me to leave and not come back.

Yesterday I was a person embarking on a symbolic gift for a friend.

Today I am a forty year old bald woman.